It was an unfair day. I deserved better. I mean I try to be a good person. I don't know why bad things happen to me. I guess I'm just in the wrong place at the wrong time too much.
I tried to do 2 good things today. First I went down to the little beatup resterant in Lancaster. There's an Angle Tree there and there are a whole bunch of angels still on it. Last Sunday I took at look at one of the angels. It for for a 10 month old boy whose mom wanted him to have a Kick and Bounce, a Giggle Bounce Puppy or a Fridge magnet farm animals.
So today I went and got the angels off the tree and bought the toys and dropped them off at the church drop off station.
Then on the way home I saw two small dogs that looked lost. So I put them in the truck, came homeand made up posters to put around to try and help them get home. They are out in the kennel right now.
So then Mia makes an reasonable demand of me. And my relationship with marie might be damaged if she finds out. And I get a call from Jay and his boss is mad at me cos the only paying job in the shop is the one they are waiting for me to finish. And of course his boss blew every cent the shop made all yea. Blew it on $150,000 sports car, vacations, toys, lots of silly bullshit they do not need as they have too much of everything already. And then they had to go and borrow money to keep paying the bills at the shop. And the ass they had running the shop, who is gone now, drove all the old time customers away by doing bad work. The word went out and now the shop is dead.
And jay has not a whole lot of work to do as the jackass boss does not publicize that part of the shop, as he one cheap fuck. The stupid ass thinks that people will just know the shop preforms this service. He takes everything for granted and doesn't plan for the future.
So now I get to be scared all over again. Scared that Jay will lose his job. I hope his boss cares about him but I think his boss only cares about the money.
I get to carry all that weight on my shoulders. Never a break. I called up DG and told him. He said he'll help us out of we need it. I hope we don't.
Now those dogs are out there barking and it's 10:30.
And this new computer i got? I have got to unload all the stuff on it and bring it back. It's glitchy.
I ruined the wireless feature on my old computer this week. And the new printer isn't working right.
And I ran up another $90 in bounce fees.
So
1) I get to worry about Jay's job and health again. I hate his boss for that. I hate that he is so thoughtless to be able to ruin our lives if we disappoint him or if money si tight cos he spends more than he makes and doesn;t care about his business until tons of shit is hitting the fan. He has become a bad person.
2)I have to get that job done, and the custumer wont even talk to me.
3) that rotten fuck Able who I did not even know 10 years ago when he fucked me out of my first job here, Now he comes onto my turf and does free work for the boss's and tries to screw me out of this job. I never did anything to that asshole. And he had knifed me since day one. For reason other than the fact that I am better at what I do than he is. I hate him. He is a bad person.
4)And it is all my brother's fault my work situation is like it is. If he had not wasted my time 2 months ago, I would be caught up and the work monkey would be off my back. My brother is a thoughtless person, thoughtless asshole.
5) ITs myfault about the old printer.
6) it is not my fault about the new computer, it is bad luck.
7) I hate that I had to disappoint Jay today. he did not deserve it.
I'm tired. I'm beatup. I hate dissappointing people. I have lots of anger and fear at Jay's boss. Why doesn't he try and help hsi business instead of playing and partying? Why is he so full of himself? he'd just be another whatever without jay.But then what would Jay have done without him?
I have to spend more time working, it's up to me for a while. I gotta be disicplined enough to suck it up and make it happen.
I'm tired of being sick and scared.
