and so tomorrow

J goes for testing, again. He was in a great mood until I reminded him. He is great at putting stuff out of his mind. But the reality is always there lurking.
So tomorrow hopefully the news will be good. It was last time. It's so hard for me, it must be purely horrible for him. I love him so much.
Fantasies and such aside ( as that is all they are, a girl is entitled to her fantasies and should not be punished) I keep holding out hope that things will improve for us.
This shit is so scary.
And then tonight my eye starts swelling up and leaking green stuff. I looked it up online and it does not sound good. I was thinking of going to the ER but I'll wait till morning. I did not want to wake up J. And as his appointment is early maybe I will go too as it near the hospital.
So to bed I go and towards the dawn of another day.
Please Lord, get us thru these next 2 months, so we can enjoy life.